Scattered
by TrulyWished
Summary: Short stories about Ed and Envy dating. Mostly just funny little things. Can be used as a precursor to Shuffled. Yaoi and obviously, EdEnvy.
1. Roy meets Tiffany

"Holy shit, look at this!" Jean's nose was pressed to the window and he was practically drooling. Vato ignored him but Breda and Fuery wandered over to look.

"Wow, who's that?" The door opened behind them while they discussed their new view.

Ed walked up behind them, a stack of papers in his hands. "What are you looking at?" He shouldered his way in and peered out the window. "Oh, she's early." The window was opened and he leaned out. "Hey! I'll be a few more minutes." A faint wave and the small form went back to chatting with the gatekeeper.

A long arm slung over wide shoulders and he was dragged back to be surrounded by his office mates. "And how do you know _her_?"

"She'd really pretty, is she your girlfriend?" Cain stared at him in admiration.

"What? No! She's, just someone I know, that's all." He yanked himself free and sat down to finish his paperwork. "You guys should get back to work." His cheeks heated and he kept his head down, working steadily to finish as quickly as possible.

Three larger forms leaned over his desk, blocking the light. He just squinted and ignored them as best he could, writing quickly. After a few minutes of stubborn silence from him, they wandered back to the window. "Hey, ah, Boss? You might want to hurry it up a bit there."

That got his attention and he looked up, the last form under his pen. "Why? What's happening?"

"Well, the General is down there. And I think he spotted her." Three sets of eyes watched his mouth work for a second in horror.

"Oh fuck!" Ed bolted, leaving the papers strewn around the desk and slamming the door behind him.

"Huh. Just someone he knows." Even Falman had to get up and go over to watch the fireworks.

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Roy wandered along, whistling to himself. So far, the day was going well; he'd had inspections all day, so no paperwork AND he escaped from that boring meeting. Things were looking up and. He stopped whistling and licked his lips. Well, the day just got much, much better.

A gorgeous young lady was standing by the gate, chatting with the officer on duty. Red hair hung in thick waves to the middle of her back, well rounded hips, flat stomach, and well, generous didn't even start to cover those. Long lashes fringed green eyes, with just enough blue to be absolutely fascinating, and brushed high cheekbones. The little nose was slightly upturned, giving her an adorable, mischievous quality. Pale skin was dusted with a hint of a blush and full lips smiled, showing even white teeth. A bit on the short side, but he wouldn't let something like that deter him, not from a wet dream come to life.

"Well, hello. What can we here at Central Headquarters do for such a beautiful young lady?" He grinned and gestured elegantly to encompass the compound, making certain to show the array on his gloves.

She giggled at him and smiled back. "Are you an alchemist?" Her hands tucked behind her back, stretching her blue dress over her chest and he tried not to stare too obviously.

The Corporal was waving at him from behind the delicious little thing and he glared briefly before ignoring him. "Why, yes, I am. I forgot to introduce myself; General Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist. May I ask what your name is?" Not that he cared, but anything this pretty had to be his.

Red rose charmingly in high cheeks and he almost drooled. "I'm Tiffany." She giggled again and the Corporal got more bold, waving frantically for him to come over.

"If you'll excuse me for a second, Miss Tiffany. I have to speak with this rude young man." Dark eyes glared as he stalked over.

"Sir, please! Forgive me for speaking out of turn, but this young lady" He noticed her watching them, a small smile on her face, and lowered his voice further. "Is Fullmetal's girlfriend. Sir, I really think you should leave her be, it might not be" A slim hand was held up and he went silent.

"Thank you for your concern, but I can handle Fullmetal. Now, if you have nothing further…" An arched brow and the man backed down, tilting his head in defeat. Fine, if he wouldn't listen, no one could say he didn't try.

A charming grin was put back in place and the brunette turned back to his soon to be conquest. "Would you care for a cup of tea? There is a charming café just down the street and I happen to be free right now." She just kept smiling and he waited, a bit impatient but it would be worth it.

A delicate shoulder moved and he watched it, and its effect on those wonderful wonderful breasts, pupils dilating a bit. "No, thank you. I'm afraid I'm already otherwise engaged."

"Oh? With Fullmetal? I assure you, miss, I am much better company." The sound of pounding feet came to him and a shriek echoed over the quad. "Really, so loud and unmannered."

Ed raced across the hard packed dirt. Shit, shit, this could only get worse. "You bastard, get away from her!"

Dark eyes rolled at his yelling and he placed a hand on a softly rounded shoulder and leaned in close, breathing in her scent. "Are you certain? I have a reservation at Haft's, I'd be more than happy to take a pretty young lady like yourself for supper and perhaps a play?" No need to mention that the reservation was a standing one and he took someone different almost daily. His hand trailed down her back, one finger pressing lightly at her spine and teased over the top of a perfectly cupable ass.

That same sweet smile looked him right in the eye when a solid hand slammed into his cheek, whipping his head around and spinning him to the ground. He stared in shock as Ed skidded to a halt and started yelling at the redhead.

His arms jerked through air as he gestured, his face red. "I told you, you can only come here if you don't cause trouble." His finger jabbed at the perfect chest.

"I didn't." A gentle pout curved the full lips.

Blond puffed a bit. "And what do you call that??" A gloved finger pointed at Roy, who was still sitting on the ground, a hand to his cheek.

Big eyes stared up innocently. "Oops?" White teeth nibbled at her lips and she looked away. "He started it. He _touched _me!"

Both hands flexed, looking like they were dying to wrap around someone's neck and the brunette watched in dazed fascination while the blond's flesh arm bunched with effort to contain himself. Finally, a hand was pressed to his face and he took a few deep breaths, calming himself. "We will talk about this at home." The General suddenly realized they had an audience, a rather large one really.

"Yo, Bastard, you ok?" A white glove appeared in front of him and he took it by habit to be yanked to his feet. He brushed himself off and tried to maintain a bit of dignity. Faint snickers could already be heard around them and he glared around, sending the men scattering.

"What is the meaning of this, Fullmetal?" His foot tapped and his arms folded over his chest.

A blond brow cocked at him and he recognized his own smirk. "Well, looks like the girl isn't interested in you or your supper." She smiled from behind him, a hand wrapped around Ed's. "Hey, James, you didn't tell him?"

The Corporal stood straight and stared ahead. "Sir, I tried, Sir." Dark eyes glared at him. "I did try to tell you SHE is the one to be careful of, Sir."

"Well, then Mustang, no one to blame but yourself." The blond shrugged and turned to leave. "I'm done, so I'll see you later." He and his date walked off, fingers tangled, chatting quietly.

Roy stood staring after them; how the hell had this happened? He was good-looking, popular, cultured, everything Ed wasn't, so how the hell did HE end up with the prettiest damn thing he'd ever seen? Snickers followed him around all day and Hawkeye removed his gloves from him after the second man was taken to the infirmary. The story turned into a sort of urban legend, told to all new men after their first girl wound up on the General's arm.

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"You know, that was really bad of you." Ed looked down at his companion, who grinned up at him. "Envy, you can't cause trouble at work." He untangled their hands and stuffed his flesh one in his pocket, using the other one to talk with.

"But it was so fun! Admit it, you loved seeing him fall on his ass. And the look of shock on his face was worth the supper you're buying me." Green eyes shifted around a little before settling back into their original color.

"I'm buying you supper? Since when?" The metal arm was slung over delicate shoulders and amber laughed down.

"Since I gave up a damn fine meal to go home with you." A slim hand grasped the metal one over her shoulder and she tugged. "Come on, the sooner we eat, the sooner we can go home." Wide shoulders shrugged and the blond followed; he could be generous, not everyday he got to see Mustang land on his ass, after all.

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Just a little story that was dithering around in my head. A bit cute, not too often Roy ends up getting turned down. I wouldn't be able to, even if I did have someone like Ed to go home with. L


	2. The beginning

Yay, I did something! Sorry, school is killing me and midterms are on the horizon. Oh well, done anyways. Thanks to everyone who has been waiting patiently and everyone who reviewed the last chapter.

For anyone interested, and yes, I am pimping my own story, I finished editing the original Shuffled and posted it on adultfanfiction. So, if you're of age, scoot over and have a look, it's titled Reshuffled and Dealt and is a completely different story; somehow, Shuffled went the fluffy route and R and D wandered off and got lost on the way.

Anyways, long enough for my blab, I hope you enjoy Ed and Envy's first date.

Warnings/Disclaimer: if you made it here, you've already seen it all.

First Date

While Saturdays were usually a good thing, this one was just boring as hell. The library was closed for upgrading, Winry and Al weren't in town and he wasn't taking the train all the way to Rissembool for one night of playing cards and chatting before turning around and coming back. A small sign caught his attention, promoting the museum and its latest exhibition. Well, not like there's anything better to do.

For a Saturday morning, the place was mostly empty and Ed wandered through the halls. He hadn't been before, either too busy with finding their Stone or working on research, and he had to admit, it was interesting. People walked through and he watched them; most walked by quickly, only stopping to examine something that caught their eye.

'Why come if you're only going to look at half the show?' Blond shook at the silliness. A clock provided the time and he realized it was almost lunch time and started for the exit. As he turned, he bumped into a small form, almost knocking it over. "Sorry. Are you ok?"

Bright blue-green eyes stared up at him and he almost mistook her for a child; she had a slightly rounded face, little upturned nose, long red hair, and was almost six inches shorter than he was, just under five feet. The arm under his hand was soft and so was the breast pressing its side. 'Breast? Oh shit!' His hand jerked away, almost knocking her over again. "Sorry!" He could feel the blush rising in his cheeks and looked at the floor.

Her cheeks were red too and she stood beside him, staring at the floor. "Oh, umm, it's ok." Little feet shuffled and he watched the hem of her dress sway with the movement. "Umm, my name is Tiffany." She blushed more and fidgeted.

"Oh, ah, my name is Edward, Edward Elric." They stood in uncomfortable silence, both staring at the floor. "Well, ah, sorry, about running into you." A shy smile and he turned to go.

Pressure on his coat made him stop and he looked over his shoulder to see the redhead drop the edge quickly. "Wait, please." She swallowed and shifted her weight around. "Doyouwanttohavelunchwithme?" It was a rush of words, blurring the edges. "If you're not busy, or anything."

She was asking him out? Ed just stared for a minute, trying to get his thoughts organized. "Ah, sure, if you want. There's a nice place down the street." It was awkward, walking with her, he wasn't sure what to say. A theater offered a solution and they started to chat about movies they'd seen and ones they were looking forward to. That took them to the café and they got settled in.

After lunch was ordered, they sat in silence. "Well, do you like alchemy?" Damn, Winry was right, he was an alchemy geek.

"Oh, well, I haven't really thought about it. I can't do it, so it didn't really interest me." Her fingers fiddled with the table cloth.

The blond leaned over and rested his chin in his hands. "Of course you could, it just takes training." A bright grin. "I'm an alchemist. It's fun and can be really useful."

"What kind of alchemy do you do?" A spark of interest and they were off, the blond explaining happily the basis of alchemy and his specialty, medical research. The young woman proved to be quite intelligent, keeping up with him fairly easily and discussing various treatments and ways to improve traditional medicine.

The afternoon passed quickly and they found themselves standing in front of the museum again. "Well, I should get going."

Pink flushed through her cheeks. "Yeah, me too. I, um, had fun, today I mean." Delicate shoes scuffed the ground as he blushed a bit.

"Ah, me too, I did too." The flesh hand scratched the back of his head, just under the ponytail. "Are, are you free tomorrow? Because I have the day off and, um, maybe we could go to see a movie." He couldn't even look at her, staring at a sign across the street. "If, if you want, of course."

A pleased smile and she peeked out from under the thick fringe of lashes. "I'd like that."

He grinned back. "Ok, I'll meet you here tomorrow at lunch time, ok?" A quick nod and they waved goodbye, stealing glances over their shoulders at each other as they both walked away.

As soon as he was out of sight, Ed bounced on his toes and ran to the office, the only place he could think of to find a woman to help him. "Lieutenant! I need to talk to you!"

"Yes, Edward?" Serious blue looked up at him from her stack of papers. "What can I help you with?"

He leaned in close and whispered so the only other officer present, Jean, couldn't hear. "I have a date!" She just smiled and nodded. "Help me!"

"Edward, what do you want help with? Just go out and have fun." He threw himself over her desk, covering the paperwork.

"Noooo! You have to help me! You think I don't see people's eyes glazing over when I start talking about alchemy and medicine, but I DO, and I'm boring and she's not and you have to help meeeeee!" Stray papers were gathered by capable hands and she glanced at him in mild annoyance; he stood up quickly, hands clasped behind his back. "Please?"

Blue eyes looked up at him, blond brows raised. "Edward, you are not boring. You are well read and traveled, you know many interesting things to talk about. Just relax and go enjoy yourself. If she didn't like you and find you fun, she wouldn't have agreed to go out." A brief smile and she lowered her voice further. "Though, you might want to try to avoid alchemy for the time being, you do get going sometimes."

"Hey Boss. Whatcha doin'?" The eighteen year old jumped when a large hand landed on his shoulder. "Asking the Lieutenant out?" Red rushed into tanned cheeks and his taller friend laughed at the stammered denials.

"Edward has a date and was seeking a bit of advice." Gold eyes widened and he waved for her to stop. "Perhaps you know some tips to help it go smoothly for him?"

Jean slung his arm over the wide shoulders and pulled, dragging his victim over to sit. "No problem, I got all kinds of advice for ya. What are you looking for?"

"Ah, well, um, I, I just want her to have fun." He couldn't believe he was sitting here listening to Jean give advice about dating.

"Uh huh. And what do YOU want at the end of the night? Kiss? More?" Ed's mouth worked silently; he hadn't thought of that! "Well, first, take her flowers, then, you tell her she looks nice, no matter what she's wearing. Ask about her perfume, if the dress looks new, anything, but make sure she knows you like it."

"What if you don't?" The pencil the older officer had been chewing waved in the air.

"Who cares? Women don't like it when you tell them their choices aren't perfect, so lie if you have to." A soft creak and Roy's office door opened a bit; Ed could make out dark bangs peeking around the corner and a pale hand waved for him to be quiet. "Next, take her somewhere nice, anywhere will do, as long as it's expensive."

"I don't think she's that kind of girl." Really, they'd been pretty happy at the little, low key café.

A faint snort and the nibbled pencil waved again. "All women are that kind of girl; they like it when you spend money on them. Make sure the movie you're going to is a romance or some drama crap. Girls really like that."

Ed was starting to get the feeling there was a reason Jean had difficulty getting second dates. He could see Roy's door sneaking open a bit more and a gloved hand was covering the brunette's mouth; he looked like he was trying not to laugh. Maybe… "Then what?"

"Well, see if she wants to get coffee or something, or you could just walk her home. Just tell her what a good time you had and you should be able to get at least a kiss out of the deal." The older blond leaned back and looked pleased with himself; so if Ed ignored everything Jean told him, he might have a chance.

"If you ever want to see her again, Fullmetal, I'd suggest doing exactly the opposite of what Havoc here tells you." A superior smirk and Roy leaned in his door. "Do not lie; if you don't like her dress or perfume, simply do not mention them. For a snack or meal, go somewhere you will both enjoy; ignore price. Discuss the movie you wish to see; she must be of at least average intelligence." A slim brow rose in question.

"Of course she is! She's really smart, and interested in medicine and organic chemistry." The two men stared at him and Jean snickered. "What?"

"Nothing, just figures you'd go for brains instead of looks." The little blond pushed himself up and tossed the chair back into place.

"She's very pretty, thank you very much. You guys are useless." Heavy boots stomped to the door and he waved quickly at Riza before slamming out.

"Huh. I think we should go and see this pretty, smart girl Fullmetal has found." Riza rolled her eyes and ignored the plotters sitting on the desks.

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"Al!" He hated these stupid phones; it took forever to get connected and it could cut at any time. "Gimme a hand!"

"Brother, what? It's kinda busy here." Al's voice sounded thin and very, very far away.

Hurry, hurry, before the connection dies. "What did you get Winry last time you guys went out? Flowers, chocolate?"

He could hear the embarrassment through the line. "Ah, I got her that new wrench set she was looking at."

"A wrench set." He should have known it was something like that. "Nothing else?"

"No. Brother, what is this about?" Suddenly, he hoped the phone would break.

"No reason, I just, ah, I have to go, bye Al!" A firm click and he sighed; what a waste of time. There had to something he could do.

He headed back to the office to try and talk to Riza again and listened at the door while Roy and Jean plotted with Breda to stalk him tomorrow. A bright grin and he slipped away silently, a plan already forming.

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The trio of stalkers watched from the bushes across the street as Ed paced, a pretty multicolored bouquet over his shoulder. He kept checking the time on the clock above the museum doors and looking down the street. "Think she stood him up?" All three cringed a bit at the thought.

"Maybe, it's not quite noon yet, maybe he's early?" The blond certainly looked nervous enough to be, bouncing lightly on his toes and fidgeting with his jacket.

His head snapped up and he darted inside, slipping out of sight in seconds. They looked but didn't see anyone, at least no one who looked smart. Was he meeting her inside? Did she work there? The only way to find out was to follow, but it was risky. While they tried to decide what to do, Roy took a minute to admire the pretty backside of the girl passing them. Couldn't be her but worth the view anyways. "Hey, General, pay attention and quit gawking."

Ed peeked out from behind the column and waved quickly to get Tiffany's attention. She started to smile but stopped when he cut the air in front of his throat and motioned her forward. A curious frown and she obeyed, moving forward so he could grab her hand and pull her the rest of the way in. "What are you doing?"

"Do you see that group of three guys out there? The stupid looking ones in uniform just standing and arguing?" A quick glance over her shoulder and she nodded. "They're following me, trying to get a look at you."

"I'm that interesting, am I?" Her eyes danced with laughter and she giggled up at him.

A huge grin and he tapped her nose with his finger. "Damn right. Let's get out of here, I know a great restaurant a few blocks over. Do you like stew and biscuits?" A brilliant smile answered him and they were off, running and holding hands like children escaping their guardians. They waved at the ticket girl, who let them past with a smile and admired her new flowers.

The movie was light hearted and they laughed and chatted through coffee, dessert, and the long walk back the park. Ed leaned back and stared up, counting stars; it was one of the few places in the city they could be seen and they took turns pointing out constellations. "Hey, wanna climb?"

"You just want to see my underwear." A flirtatious grin and she tapped his cheeks as they warmed. "Sure." He stared at her for a second and she pushed his chest a bit. "Boost, please."

His hands formed a stirrup and she stepped in daintily, letting him lift her to grab a low branch. His cheeks flamed and he stared to the side until his name was called. A quick jump and he swung up to sit behind her, back to the trunk and let her lean against him.

The small body was soft, unlike the few times he'd hugged Winry, who was all muscle. He didn't quite know where to put his hands until they were grabbed and folded over the flat little stomach; she was just so delicate looking! Her hair had come down and fanned over his chest and he couldn't resist; his nose touched the inviting mass as she turned to say something, bumping their noses and brushing lips.

The blond bolted back, slamming his head into the tree; his hand rubbed it briefly. "Sorry."

"Why? Don't you like me?" Moonlight reflected her blue eyes as silver as she stared at him; when he didn't answer, she reached back and took his right hand. He started to pull back and she held on, the glove slipping.

Red flushed through his cheeks and he yanked the metal arm free, curling his hand to keep the glove on. "Sorry." A soft mutter and he turned away, adjusting the white cloth to cover the gleaming metal.

"Does it bother you?" Gold glanced at her. "The auto-mail, you don't like it?"

"You, know?" Small shoulders shrugged as she nodded. "And it doesn't bother you?" She shrugged again and shook her head, long hair flying from side to side. "I, guess it doesn't bother me, really. I just hate when people stare or feel they should make an effort not to look, you know?"

"Oh. I don't care, really, but you should like it, it's nice and well made." Green eyes turned back to the front and her feet tucked up in front of her so her arms could wrap around her legs. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I didn't realize you didn't like me like that."

Ed stared at the curved back and tried to think of what to do. This was going to be so embarrassing. His hands slid over her shoulders, both following her arms to hug the bent knees. Warm breath flowed over the smooth shell of a pale ear. "I do, like you that is. I like you a lot. I hope you'll want to go out with me again and that you'll be patient with me when I'm stupid." He could just make out a hint of blush in the soft light and leaned further forward to press a soft kiss to her cheek. "Forgive me?"

Brown eyes smiled back at him and he kissed the full lips delicately. The pink of dawn found them still sitting, chatting and kissing occasionally. Every free evening, and even some that hadn't been, they spent wandering the city, testing restaurants, exploring different parks, and almost always ending up in the same spot.

"Hey, can I see your place?" Ed rolled over and blinked at her. They were out on a picnic, sprawled over the grass with a blanket and a few books for Ed, feet entangled while they chatted and Tiffany played with a set of cards.

"I guess. Don't know why you'd want to, it's just a dorm." A little smile and she wiggled over to press against his side.

"You know, when a girl asks to see your room, it usually means she's more interested in the privacy than the décor." Long bangs failed to hide the bright red that raced over his cheeks and she laughed, kissing him on the tip of his nose. "We don't have to, it can wait."

"N, no, I'd like to take you. If, if you want to." Gentle kisses traced the adorable face. "Do you want to visit tonight? Most of my floor is on duty until midnight." He couldn't focus after that, the book in his hands no where near as fascinating as the bright hair or strange green eyes.

They finally gave up and packed their things. The little blond held her hand and carried the basket, stopping to steal kisses along the way. The basket was abandoned at the door and clothes trailed them to the bedroom.

It was tauntingly slow and over much too soon, filled with giggles, teasing, and laughter. Warm licks and soft tickles accompanied hot kisses and slick skin. They lay panting, curled around each other and tangled in the blankets.

"Hey, can you do something for me?" Emerald green eyes smiled up at the blond and he flicked her nose. "Shift. I haven't seen your old form for a while, I kind of miss it." She just blinked at him, brow wrinkling in confusion. "Not that this isn't beautiful, it is, but it might be nice to be able to see you."

"What are you talking about? I don't understand." Lies slid over her tongue smoothly, long experienced with twisting the truth.

Ed rolled his eyes and flopped to lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. "Envy, you can shift. I know it's you." Loose blond hair moved over the pillow as he turned his head to look at her. "Your eyes change when we kiss or fool around."

A small hand moved involuntarily to the corner of her eye and she stared at her new lover. "What are you going to do?"

"Do? Nothing, really. I just thought it might be nice, no big deal. You don't have to if you prefer this form now." Ed rolled to his side again and ran his hand over the flat stomach. "What's wrong? Are you upset I know?" A bright grin flashed even teeth. "Weren't you going to tell me?"

Pink flushed her cheeks and she looked away, staring at the far wall. "Maybe, sometime. When did you figure it out?"

Soft lips pressed to her nose. "The first time I saw you." Creamy skin pulled away in shock and bright eyes stared up at him. "Envy, I fought you for years. You think I don't know the way you walk, move, smell, breath, the way your voice fluctuates?"

"And you still went out with me? Why?"

A soft smile and he kissed her again. "Why did you come to me? Bored, lonely, nothing better to do?" Faint hurt shone and the metal arm wrapped around her waist, tugging her in to spoon against him. "Not very good reasons, are they? I went for lunch with you because I was curious. I asked you out because I had a good time and wanted to see you again." Gentle rocking while he nuzzled the red hair. "Human relations are fairly simple, Envy. We want to have fun and be with others."

Full breasts vibrated with faint humming while she thought it out, cuddled against the solid side, little hands curved against the wide chest. A light push and pale blue pulsed between them, lighting her body as it lengthened and slimmed to that of a pale young man.

Ed gasped and pushed forward a bit, rubbing against the slim thighs; the soft push of breasts had been ignorable, but the pulse of the almost alchemic charge over his skin was certainly not. "What? You still want to?"

Red flushed over darker cheeks and he pulled back a little. "Sure, why not?" Slight shoulders shrugged and thin lips pressed to full, little tongue flickering at the edges.

"Sure, why not."


	3. Reading and Such Skills

Go me! Here we are, another little bitlet. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, and to everyone who reads, even if they don't review. As long it gets read, it doesn't matter. (Though I certainly appreciate your opinion!)

Reading and Such Skills

"En, can you get the biochemical book from the third shelf? The one on chimera deconstruction. Thanks." Ed didn't' look up, running his finger over the text in front of him, left hand making notes quickly while he flipped through the pages.

Shuffling from the bed was barely noticed but the yank on his braid was. "Ow!"

"Get your own crap. I'm not your servant." Pale skin gleamed, shining from the lotion the brunette had been playing with. "When are we going for supper?"

A small frown and the blond stood, nudging his chair back to hit the taller man. "Once I finish. If you'd help a little, it'd be done faster, and I could take you to eat." Busy fingers undid his braid and tugged through, even when he batted at them. "I just don't see why you don't want to help, you know about this stuff too."

"Maybe because it's boring as fuck? Come on, take me out!" He trailed his shorter lover over to grab the requested book, sectioning thick hair and making two fat little braids.

The frown wasn't as effective this time, not that it had been the first time. "No, not until I'm done. You can make something if you're that hungry." The blond settled back into his chair and took up the book again, continuing his notes.

"Fine. I'm going home." Gold flashed up to him while he opened the window and started to shimmy out.

"En, come on. I have to work! So I CAN take you places. Just another half hour, ok? I promise, then we'll go out. Where do you want to go?" The slim form paused, then slid back in, watching him with violet eyes.

"Half an hour. I don't care, somewhere that's not here."

Ed grinned and waved his lover over. "Ok, we'll decide on the way." He leaned up for a quick kiss. "Can you please get the Xingian translation on organ regeneration? It's should be on the second shelf." A sigh and dark hair hung in his face; playful bursts of air lifted it to tickle his nose. "Please?"

The slim body moved away from him and wandered over to play with the books. The alchemist returned to his notes and didn't notice time passing until he finished and went to start the translation; not there. "Envy?" A quick look around showed the brunette flipping through various books, running his fingers over the scrawled writing. The homunculus didn't look up, too busy glaring at the frustrating words. The blond walked over to stand behind him and lean down. "What are you doing?"

As startled jump and Ed had to lean back to avoid the foot that came up by reflex. "What the fuck, Pipsqueak?"

"Quit calling me that! And it's been a while, couldn't you find it?" He started to put books back on the shelves, checking for the one he wanted while he went. "They're pretty interesting, aren't they?" A bit of red bloomed in the pale cheeks but he didn't notice. "These are all simple ones though, I'll take you to the library later if you want, you can look at some more advanced ones. Damn it, where is that book? I know it was here."

Envy shot a look to the book in his lap and pushed it over quietly. "Oh, thank you. Why didn't you bring it over? I would have lent it to you after I'm done with that section." Slender shoulders shrugged and he finally actually looked at his lover. "Envy, is something wrong?"

"No. Let's go eat." Gold narrowed but the blond didn't argue. At the restaurant Envy kicked him under the table, her usual sign that she wanted Ed to order for her.

"Not today. You never like what I get you anyways, so pick something for yourself." Green glared at him and he looked away, staring at the street and watching the cars go by.

"Look you little pain in the ass, order me something." The high ponytail shook quickly and gears shifted abruptly. "Won't you choose for me?" Big eyes batted and full lips pouted adorably.

"No, I won't. You choose something from the menu. You're perfectly capable." They sat in silence while the redhead scanned the menu slowly, eyes narrowed in concentration and fingers running over each word. Nearly twenty minutes and Ed finally reached across and took it. "En. You can't read, can you?"

"I can too! I read just fine, I'm not stupid!" Red blossomed in her cheeks and she didn't look at him, staring at the table cloth.

The blond reached to capture small hands, holding them in his. "No one said that. It's not a big deal. I kinda wish you'd said something though, I could teach you."

"Fuck you!" Small hands slammed his to the table, tipping it dangerously. Water sloshed over Ed's hands as he tried to keep the little table on its legs. "I don't need your pity! I'm not stupid!"

"I didn't say that! Sit down, people are staring." Napkins corralled the spill into the middle of the table while a waiter scooted over to help; the alchemist found it strangely ironic that he was apologizing for someone else's behavior after years of letting others do the same for his. "En, calm down, please. Can we just eat? We can talk about it later." A furious glare and he amended his statement. "Or we won't, ok? Come on, let's order."

The efficient young man whipped out a pencil and paper and jotted their order down. They sat quietly, Envy fiddling with the hem of her skirt and shredding a napkin in her lap. "En, don't be mad. I wasn't picking on you."

"I told you, I know how." She squeezed her hands tightly. "A bit. Enough to get by."

Her lover sighed and reached a hand over to lay on the table, palm up. "Envy, it's not a big deal. If no one taught you, it's pretty damn hard to learn; it can be hard to learn in the first place. Mom taught Al and me; we spent hours sitting at the table copying letters." Soft skin pressed to his and he closed tanned fingers gently around the smaller ones. "How about we stop at the library and pick a few out? We can read them together, take turns reading out loud." An encouraging smile and he moved his chair around to sit beside her; the menu was read quietly, a metal finger tip tracing the words as he went.

The redhead dragged her heels all the way to the main library, suddenly very interested in window shopping and trying on different dresses. Ed indulged her, letting her waste as much time as she wanted; the library was open until nine o'clock and it was just past two. Lots of time. They finally wandered in and e tugged her over to the fiction area, particularly the horror section, something he thought might be of interest.

Or not. A few covers were examined and he read the backs without gaining a flicker of interest. A mystery had potential, for him if nothing else, and the girl wandered, trailing her fingers over a variety of books. Strangely, she settled in the romance section. "Oi, this one."

The paperback was taken and held at arm's length. "Envy, I don't think you'll like this one." A half naked man, built to make Armstrong jealous, was leaning over a slim woman with big breasts and almost no clothes who was pressed to a wall, hair tumbling around her. "Why would you pick this?"

"You said pick something I'm interested in. That one will have sex in it, right? I like sex." She started skimming the books, picking the ones with the least amount of clothing on the cover. Ed refused to hold them, crossing his arms and staring resolutely at the wall.

"I'm not getting those. They're stupid with no plot or surprises. It's a bunch of romantic crap interspersed with the odd sex scene." He didn't look down until a hard finger stabbed him in the chest. "Ow!"

Now that she had his attention, she grinned, a wide, frightening look. "Get these for me or I will cause a scene that you will never live down. You won't be able to walk down the street without everyone knowing exactly who you are; the guy who wouldn't even carry his girlfriend's books for her." He snorted at her and a slim brow rose. "You don't think I will?"

He smirked down at her. "I don't care if you do. I've embarrassed myself in every part of this country, and a few places outside of it, and everyone stares anyways. Of course, if you do throw that fit, then everyone will know you were too much of a baby to carry your own books, now won't they?" Little points appeared at the edges of her grin and he leaned down, brushing his lips over hers. "However, in the interest of saving my eardrums, I will get two for you. If we get two for me and we'll switch off. Deal?"

A quick bounce on little feet and pink lips pressed to his firmly. "Deal." The small stack she'd gathered was spread out and deliberated over until two were chosen and the rest put back; a bit haphazardly but they were on the shelf at least.

A librarian called to them as they started to the desk. "Excuse me, miss?" Envy promptly took the excuse to not carry her books and handed them off, bouncing over to see what she wanted. Nodding and low discussion while Ed tapped his foot and checked the time.

"Really? Where?" Blond hair whipped around to see his redhead bouncing on her toes and getting directions. She whirled by him, grabbing his flesh arm and dragging him behind her to the very back, through a short maze of stacks to a small shelf, well hidden and discrete. "Look!"

Amber widened and red rushed to his cheeks. "What the hell? How did you find this?" She looked at him like he was an idiot and his ears burned. "Why are we back here?"

"I want these." She was already pulling them off the shelf and rummaging around, looking for the perfect choice.

"No. No way, I am not getting you these." He would die of humiliation if he had to take those up the front. It had been bad enough when Havoc pushed those magazines on him last year, never mind actually getting something like this from the public library. "We aren't practicing reading with porn."

"It's not porn, the girl said it was erotica. She thought I might like them when she heard me talking about sex. See, this one looks fun." Two blonds were kissing on the front, twins from the look of it; Ed's face got redder and he dropped the books he'd been carrying. "Or this one." He closed his eyes fast enough to avoid looking and covered tem with his hands just to be sure.

"Envy, En, no, come on, please no. Anything else, you can have as many of those stupid romances as you want, just not this." Faint humming and she kept looking. "What do you want?"

"I want one of these. Just one." No, no, not the eyes, and the pretty pout and her arms pressed together in a pleading gesture, pushing her breasts up, enhancing the cleavage. Gold crossed and he fought to look away, hands flexing and she giggled; one more point for Envy.

"Fine. One. But you put one of the others back." Long hair flopped over his shoulder when he sighed and gathered the dropped novels.

Apparently 'one' to Envy meant one of each genre, of which there were apparently a great many. They ended up with eight books, including Ed's two. 'Ok, I can do this. It's Carol today, it'll be fine.' Carol was nearly eighty and had been a librarian for over sixty years; she's seen everything twice and wouldn't even blink.

Everything was fine until Jean and Cain walked in; they spotted him immediately, of course, and started over to chat. A shove set Envy in front of them and the catty smirk he got over a shoulder almost had him thinking she would refuse to distract them; she didn't, and looked to be flirting nicely with the two men.

"Damn. Carol, do you have a bag or something? Anything?" A small bag was produced from behind the desk and the books just fit. "Thanks. What do I owe you?"

Cool blue eyes assessed him from under grey hair. "Five dollars."

"Five?" A bit of squeak in his voice made him lower it to a whisper. "That's outrageous." He still dug around and handed it over and got a receipt in return.

The old woman just shrugged and patted his new bag. "You paid it." A tiny smile at his glower and he turned to find his coworkers standing right behind him.

"Hey guys. What're you doing?" The little bag slipped behind him as subtly as possible and he grinned a bit uncomfortably.

"Ahh, nothing really, just dropping off some things and going for supper. You?" The small blond just shrugged and waved in a 'me too' kind of way.

"We should probably get going, been out all day."

"Ok, see you. Nice to see you again, Tiffany." A cute wave from the young lady and they escaped, Ed practically dragging the redhead behind him. "So, do we tell him?"

"What? That his face was as red as his coat or that Tiffany told us what he was getting?" They laughed their way to supper and decided to share with the rest of the office as soon as possible.

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"This is fun." Envy rolled over, shifting as he crawled over Ed. "We should have done this sooner."

Exhausted patting and even the metal hand fell to rest beside the heaving side. "We'd have died in the first month." Pale lashed fluttered weakly. "There is no way we would survive doing that every night, or any variation of."

"But I thought you liked to read?" Taunting laughter and the blond suddenly had energy again, at least enough to tickle.

"You are incorrigible." Little kisses pressed to any bit of white skin that came close enough. "And you were reading pretty well there, moving right along. You just wanted to get to the good parts."

"Damn right."

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Yay, another done! Wow, I'm a bit impressed with my productivity recently. Hopefully it'll keep up. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I appreciate your feedback! I don't remember seeing Envy read anything in the series and I don't see Dante taking the time to teach him how, at least no more than necessary.


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